My Fear

What I fear the most? Losing. My most precious things. 

My family. My children and my husband.

I also fear dying too early. Earth and human emotions are just too beautiful.

I can’t think of that every single day. But sometimes, when being asked, I realize that’s what it is. 

Life happens and there is not so much I can do when it happens. 

But I can watch out. For cars, be next to the pool and be constantly aware of what I and my children are doing. I never have speakers in my ear when they are around and I never leave the kitchen when something is baking in the oven.

I also fear losing my health. I don’t like to been taken cared of. I like to be independent and do things on my own. I don’t like going to the doctor and spending time there. 

Is this something you fear as well? And is there anything to do when we are healthy and vital and active? Can we watch out for anything when we are young? 

We can smoke and have a long life. But it is more likely that we die earlier. 

We can not be next to the pool and nothing is ever going to happen while our children splash. But I would never risk it.

We can be overweight or obese and live a long life. But just the risk of getting sick and having to go to the doctor frequently makes me not want to be overweight. My current weight is 60 kg (132 lbs). My overweight starts at 76 kg (167 lbs). That is a difference of 16 kg. Having a normal weight is not about being skinny. 

It is very difficult to be overweight and at the same time eat a health supporting diet. Sumo wrestlers do it and eating high amounts of food is one of the biggest challenges in this sport. And even if it was possible, the overweight would still not be beneficial for a long life. Because eating less is important for a long life. It’s not a guarantee but it is something we can watch out for. 

By making overweight history I don’t want to help people to be slim to fit any social standards. I believe everybody’s body is beautiful. 

I want to make sure people eat a health supporting diet that supports their health and increases their longevity because they are able to eat less. You can only eat less when the small amount you eat contains enough nutrients. 

I believe overweight is a sign of food choices that contain too much energy and too little nutrients. You can get enough nutrients out of it but only if you overeat on energy. And that extra energy contains the risk to decrease your longevity. 

Why am I writing this today? Because I saw an article in my newspaper this morning of a woman with overweight that sad: „I say quite deliberately that I am fat because I used to find this word devastating. When I was anorexic nobody cared about my health.“ And the second part was: „As a child, the woman thought: I’m too fat. Now she shows her curves, but also her zest for life. It’s a fight for the rights of “fat_fat” people – and against the feel-good photos of those who only flirt with the sticky word “body positivity“.

And I cried. Because I see and hear it so much. I love body positivity but I cry because it most often comes with the equation: overweight is healthy. But that is a lie. 

It is just as much a lie as if someone said: smoking is healthy.

When Cosmopolitan publishes a cover with Tess Holiday and writes about her and her zest for life and her curves, it is not a problem. But when Cosmopolitan publishes a cover with Tess Holiday and then writes in the article that Tess’s obesity is healthy, it is the same as if they were saying: „You don’t have to be next to the pool while your children are splashing, there is no risk.“

That’s why I cry. What I fear the most, they are telling me, is not going to happen and I know they are lying to me because I am aware of the risk.


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